I bet you all the spare change on my desk that when you get to college, you will come across at least five of the seven stereotypes I’m about to explore.
Nobody likes to be grouped into a stereotype, but sometimes, the truth just speaks for itself, and definitely in the case of a college campus. I’m not sure if it’s something in the soft serve of the dorm cafeterias or what, but there’s something about a college campus that universally produces these stereotypes in sleeper cells who, before entering college, showed little to no sign of the following stereotypes until after they fully move into their dorms and say ‘goodbye’ to their parents:
1. Library Sleepover Guy/Girl
This character is the one who strangely prefers the claustrophobic space under a desk in the university library over the down comfortable and padded mattress of their own bed. Why would this be? Good question, and it’s fairly difficult to answer, coming from a pro-bed disposition, but I believe it has something to do with the cozy atmosphere of a library, especially if you’ve been in there for hours. The soft whispers, the fall-leaf crinkle of pages turning, the hypnotic melody of your peers typing term papers, the asbestos in the walls, you know. It’s certainly enough to get you to doze off–not to mention that you’ve been in there for 29 hours already and have just gone mad and are confusing the library for your bedroom.
2. Guy Who says “Work hard; play hard” Way Too Often
This phrase should’ve burnt out with the 80s, but unfortunately, it’s going strong among a small population. This person likes to, well, work hard, and then play hard. They’re usually the ones somehow able to function with a level 5 hangover. Allowing them to, you know, workhardplayhard.
3. Mr./Ms. Moocher
Whether it’s another precious Diet Coke from your mini fridge, or notes from American Culture 101, there is always somebody willing to catch a free ride. Sure, one Diet Coke is nothing. But soon, the Diet Cokes add up and eventually you’re basically helping your friend slide through class without lifting a finger–or buying the text book! Did that metaphor get mixed up? You get it.
4. The Unexpected Party Animal
This person was on 24-hour patrol by their parents before shipping off to college. The freedom is often jarring and catapults this usually in-bed-by-9pm type into crazy party animal behaviors. Don’t worry though, they’ll get the balance sooner or later.
5. Wait, They’ve Found Signs of Life Outside the Greek Bubble?
What’s most interesting is that even though nobody’s born into the Greek system, a certain group of people completely disregard the life they led before going Greek and treat non-Greek people as if they’re lost puppies without homes. Let them live in their little dream worlds. It’s cute and stupid. But mostly cute. And also stupid.
6. The Unassuming Genius
This is the best one. You’ll be asking a homework question to yourself out loud, like “Wait, so what’s the dif between diamond and graphite?” And your roommate who happens to be watching Real Housewives of Orange County because that’s what she does ALL day, says, “They are chemically identical–completely carbon-based– but their bonding patterns, graphite being held together like sheets, and diamond created from 4 incredibly strong covalent bonds result in completely different materials. The graphite in your pencil is writing this all down because the sheets can slide off easily since they’re only held be weaker Van der Waal bonds,” she says without looking away from the television. Kinda nice to have on tap.
7. Person Who Thinks That They’re the Only One in a Hard Class with A Lot of Work
This stereotype cannot get it through their heads that they are not the only ones on campus to be in a class that requires some hard work. It’s really annoying, but usually these types have a bunch of other redeeming qualities you can concentrate on. Usually.
Any stereotypes we’re missing? What would you be considered on campus?